March is International Women’s Month. Hence, this blog is expressly dedicated to all hardworking superwomen, most specifically the “Millennial Moms”.
♥ ♥ ♥
As a mum of two, I am always occupied with chores, errands, and of course, my duties with the children that never ends. Therefore, I experience frustrations and fatigue almost every single day. I am so sure every mother (especially young moms) can relate.
When we become moms, we get lesser to no time for ourselves. This would also lead to having lesser friends. It is because we no longer have time nor energy to go out with them like we normally had.
Whether you are a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, you always come to a point when you just tell yourself that your new regular routine is wearing you off.
This is why I highly recommend you moms to hang out with fellow moms, once in a while.
Sometimes, all we need is a “Momshie time” because:
- You don’t have to explain yourself.
Fellow mommas would understand why sometimes you are late from the set time of meeting. When I was single and much younger, I used to have plenty of time to put my makeup on and change my attire for about 5 to 8 times. But not anymore! I don’t even get enough time to brush my hair because I got kids to feed, bathe and change. And not only that! The moment you need to leave, dramas happen such as: kids suddenly need to go toilet, one’s nappy is dirty or they just cry for no reason or they just remove their clothes and many more to dramas to mention.
If I look like I am going to a wet market with hair not brushed, or if I am wearing the wrong pair of shoes, I am sure fellow mommas would know why.
When I have to breastfeed in public, other moms won’t say anything negative but will only support and encourage.
It feels great when you can go on and do your thing without having to explain yourself.
I love it when I am not being judged. I don’t even have energy to explain anyway.
2. You can share stories and experiences and they can definitely relate.
Talking to other moms makes me smile, especially when we share stories about how crazy and tiring our days go, how difficult parenting is, and how wonderful every smile and laugh that our children give. Motherhood is simply a roller coaster ride. Crazy.
3. You can give and receive pieces of advice.
There are times when you worry about your kid so much and you think that something’s wrong. You know to yourself that it’s all good but you keep on distressing still. The secret then to make things lighter is talk to another mother. You will then and there feel relief when you realize that they had the same situation and you will understand that you are only over reacting.
Same thing happens when you are the one who have already experienced situations and you are the one giving advice and spreading positivity.
(Although when you think it is something serious, especially health issues, do not hesitate to go to doctor.)
I believe mothers love it when they are able to help other mothers and when they influence and share POSITIVITY.
4. You will feel normal. You are not alone.
I learned that cooking while breastfeeding is possible. I realized that I can shower for less than a minute. I experienced crying in the bathroom because I feel so worn out then I get out of shower wearing my happy face for my kids again. I can stay up all night and still do normal duties all day. I have tried eating the food that my kids already chewed. My hands were once pooped on by my child. I have been losing my temper most of the time. When the kids are asleep I would always have an argument with myself whether I should rest too or have some time alone and watch movies. Hence, I can finish a move in two weeks’ time. I have a special talent of holding my pee for hours and hours just because I cannot move while my baby is asleep in my arms or breastfeeding and I can’t afford to wake him up. I always clean the house for many hours just to be messed up again for 2 minutes. I have yelled and punished my kids and regret it a few moments later. I purchase something for myself then feel guilty for spending money. I close my eyes when I pass by the mirror in our house because it will only break my heart if I see my ugly face and body. I frequently touch my kids’ tummies at night just to be sure that they are breathing. I let my kids watch Chuchu TV, Cocomelon, A for Adley, Ryan’s Toys Reviews, Little Angels, and Baby Bus when I have chores to do or when I just want them to be quiet for a moment.
And the list can go on and on… Those were just some of the weird and crazy things I do since I became a mum. And guess what?
I have also learned that I am not alone. Most, if not all, new mums experience these. Oh yes mummas, we are normal!
5. You can avoid PPD.
Let me tell you a story about the Depression I had after giving birth to my daughter, my eldest child.
Lexi and I were both okay. So, after being discharged from the hospital, we went home with my hopes that I could finally rest and sleep after experiencing extreme tiredness from labor and delivery. But I was so wrong. I didn’t prepare myself for even more draining duties. My husband was away for work. Every hour, the baby needed feeding or nappy change. No sleep. No reliever. All day. All night. I started questioning myself if I was really happy to be a new mum. I was always sad and hopeless. I was missing my life as an ambitious hard-working career woman. There were always crying moments. My mood swings were terrible. I would always create an argument with my husband. I felt unappreciated. I felt I was not good enough as a wife and a mum. Not having time for myself did not help at all. I was overwhelmed by the big change in my life. Everything was totally different.
Little did I know, I was already experiencing Postpartum Depression. It was something I never wished for or intended to have. And this is serious! Did you experience these too? Well, the best way to get out of this situation is to have support from the family, your partner, and the women who will understand you most, the mothers. We know exactly how difficult it is, that is why mommas are there to support and cheer each other up.
Momshies, it is a must to look after our kids. But it is also a priority to look after ourselves. Remember, it is not being selfish. How can we make sure that our family is well taken care of when we ourselves are not even okay? So, go and have some momshie time! Ring your momshie friend and go eat out, or have a chat at a coffee shop, or book a spa, or you can even have them in your home – let the kids play while you chat and enjoy your wine and sing with videoke. (There is no need to explain why your house is a mess anyway.)
Cheer up and keep in mind that you are doing great, momma!